Let Kids Lead
Many programs call themselves child-led. Here is how we do it, and some tips for you:
At PlayGroup, we’re serious about trusting kids. Kids who don’t feel pressured to participate in activities are more likely to relax enough to find enjoyment and connection. We engage actively in listening to our kids—what they say, but also what they do. We look for opportunities to support and help kids expand their skills, starting from within their comfort zone. You can try this at home too!
You can probably list some things already that your child finds stressful or overwhelming. Take some extra time to really notice what your child finds regulating, satisfying, or fun. Try to simply notice, without judgement or fear. Unless the activity is harmful to your child or others, try to simply allow and observe. Are they calmer when playing video games? Watching that same YouTube short over and over? Do they have a favorite toy or book? Do they like chewing on things? What do you notice that they enjoy?
With permission, join their world. Try something like, “I noticed you chewing on your sleeve, and it made me curious. Should I try it with my sleeve?” It’s important that you are genuine with your curiosity. Kids can tell if you are humoring them or masking judgement. Pick something to join that you can truly be open to experiencing. Then try the activity, parallel to your child. Engage your senses and see if you can notice what might be fun about it.
Share your experience and ask more about theirs. “My sleeve feels fuzzy on my tongue. I’m not sure if I like that fuzzy feeling. Does yours feel fuzzy to you? Do you have a favorite shirt to chew on?”
Explore expanding from the shared experience. “Are there other things you like to chew on? I think it’s kind of fun to chew on crushed ice. Should we get a snow cone or a slushie sometime so you can try it?” Note: It’s important not to use this step too soon, or to apply it in a way that passive aggressively shames your kid for their initial version of the activity. Broadening a child’s world can and should still center their autonomy and preferences.
With these new practices of engaging in your kid’s preferred activities, and a deeper understanding of what is important to them, you also have more tools to help them when they are stressed or overwhelmed. “We’re going on a long car ride tomorrow, but I’ve packed ten washcloths for you to chew on, so if one gets too wet, we’ll have more!”